Things I Am No Longer On Good Terms With Because They Woke The Baby

• The uppermost bedroom door hinge

• Floorboards 3, 12, and 17

• Two of the neighbor’s three dogs (Not you, Hank)

• A misaligned tendon in my right elbow

• The FedEx truck with the broken muffler

• Foot-operated metal waste bins

• The U.S. Air Force and The Boeing Company

• ‘Potential Spam’

• The LED on the heating pad switch

• Sunrise